Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Little Ahmed Paper Loved That Rascal....

OK, so let me set the scene.

My family and I are out at a restaurant eating dinner (as opposed to ya know... wrapping ourselves in saran wrap and running about screaming "The Ghost of Stephen Foster") and on the TV there is a story about the snow storms in the northeast.

When suddenly from one table over an educational moment broke out as a curmudgeonly elder gentlemen spoke up about the snow saying, "Wish all 'em muzlims wood luke at that so they'd stay in ther own cuntry seein az they like sand so much."

If you don't speak Texan he said, "I wish all of the Muslims on Planet Earth would get the chance to watch this news story on the television so that they, seeing the snow, would be dissuaded from coming to this country because they like the sand in their own country so much."

OK translation time is over.

Now this struck me because this thoughtful well informed gentleman had presented the room with information which we did not previously possess. For example...

1. All Muslims like sand.
2. All Muslims hate snow.
3. All Muslims are coming to this country.
4. All Muslims come from one country.

Now this struck me as odd because I am fairly certain that Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Syria, etc., are all separate and sovereign nations, and are all "Muslim" Countries.

But our friend seemed so sure that I now feel obliged to rethink my prior position.

So from this day forward we the people declare that all Muslims come from one country... Talibania. It is a wonderful place with deserts and mountains where children are taught religion in school, intolerance for other races, religions and ethnic groups is sternly encouraged. The only religious intolerance more smiled upon than dislike of other religions is that for other Muslims of a different Islamic Tradition than your own, and pretty much all of the problems in the world are the fault of Jews and minorities.

Wait....

I know why he's worried now. Talibania sounds just like Texas... and it never snows here.

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